Fostering Resilience with Self-Care

  • By 7016369785
  • 05 Jun, 2017

By Christy Porter

Since the myth of the stress-free life has been shattered for most of us, we are left with managing our stress. Even “good stress,” or positive life events, add to the overall stress load a person carries. Using self-care to offset stress not only involves getting enough sleep and good nutrition; at its best, it universally involves looking for some level of fun and sources of joy.  

Fostering resilience in the face of stress, rather than trying for perfection or pretending stress doesn’t have an impact, gives people more pleasant options for relief, as well as healthier options. Even the definitions of resilience suggest more than one attitude toward managing stress. One such definition emphasizes strength in the face of adversity and the skills that people can learn to foster that strength. Another definition of resilience , the ability to “spring back into shape” or “elasticity,” brings to mind favorite children’s toys, like the hippity-hop, the trampoline, or, for today’s adults, the modern Pilates ball. A well-rounded program of self-care should include fostering habits of mind and body that contribute to strength under pressure and encouraging play as a source of strength and refreshment.

The concept of the need for self-care gained prominence as mental health professionals began focusing on the needs of caregivers; however, everyone needs to consider their own self-care to allow them to live fulfilling lives, manage their health, and contribute to their own well-being.

Self-care is not the same thing as self-pampering. Christine Meinecke points out in “ Self-care in a toxic world ” that “Medical and mental health professionals pioneered the concept of self-care by prescribing healthy lifestyle changes and stress management behaviors.” However, commercials and marketing practices often sell self-care as “self-pampering,” regardless of whether people can afford things like spa days and fancy chocolates, or not. Meinecke suggests that if you can’t afford such things, what is being suggested to you is self-indulgence rather than self-care. The key difference she outlines is that “Self-indulgence is characterized by avoidance of the effortful and substitution of quick and easy antidotes,” while self-care involves attention to needs and proven stress relief tactics. This doesn’t mean that the occasional self-indulgence is wrong, but regularly indulging in activities or purchases that are not readily affordable are more likely to increase long-term financial stress.The “quick-fix” isn’t worth that extra stress and is unlikely to have consistent, long-term positive benefits.

Identifying how stress feels in your body is of primary importance. In “ Taking care of yourself , ” the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) notes that “Stress affects your entire body, physically as well as mentally. Some common physical signs of stress include:

   ·         Headaches

   ·         Low energy [including sleeping more than usual]

   ·         Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation and nausea

   ·         Aches, pains, and tense muscles

   ·         Insomnia


In “ Managing stres s ” NAMI also highlights non-physical symptoms such as frequent mood swings, difficulty concentrating and feeling overwhelmed. NAMI also points out that “When experiencing long-term stress, your brain is exposed to increased levels of a hormone called cortisol. This exposure weakens your immune system, making it easier for you to get sick.”

Eliminating all stressors isn’t a realistic option for any of us, but paying attention to the way stress makes us feel gives us a starting point for recognizing when we need additional care or when to make use of acute stress management tactics, even if those symptoms occur after, rather than during, a stressful situation, or if they build up over time.

Self-care plans have to be tailored to individual lives and needs. NAMI has a “ Self-Care Inventory ” with detailed basics and spaces for people to add their own details like playing with pets, enjoying pleasant spaces, or a prompt to go looking for something to enjoy this week.  When under a lot of stress, the idea of taking on another checklist or list of expectations can be intimidating. Rather than using the inventory to criticize yourself or others, consider using it simply as a way to explore what you are currently doing, and ideas you might consider. Not all of the items on the list will work for each person, but they might produce ideas. The general areas of self-care on this inventory include physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and workplace or professional self-care. Sketching out these basics to make sure there’s not a huge gap in self-care tactics, or using the inventory to track changes and results, are just two ways such a list can be useful. Using the inventory as a starting point for really examining specificactions that can help you be more resilient and more flexible regularly and under stress makes this a useful tool. 

Recognizing the build-up of long term stressors by checking physical symptoms or running through a checklist can allow a person to review their self-care habits and see if they’ve started dropping helpful habits or if they need to investigate new ones. Cutting back on sleep or numbing out in front of a screen are some of the initial tactics people use when they want to escape stress, but both will actually increase physical stress responses.

In “ Seven types of self-care activities for coping with stress ,” Barbara Markway Ph.D. tops her list with sensory activities that bring a person into the present moment and space, including: breathe in fresh air; snuggle under a cozy blanket; listen to running water; sit outdoors by a fire-pit, watching the flames and listening to the night sounds; wiggle your bare feet in overgrown grass; stare up at the sky; lie down where the afternoon sun streams in a window; and listen to music. Her other categories of suggestions include pleasures like enjoying a favorite meal, mental/mastery activities like cleaning out a junk drawer or reading something on a topic you wouldn’t normally explore, spiritual activities like lighting a candle, writing in a journal, or spending time in nature, and emotional activities such as accepting your feelings, laughing when you can, and practicing self-compassion.

Self-care habits need to be tailored to the individual. In “ 7 ways to help you destress ,” NAMI’s Laura Greenstein recognizes the scientifically proven benefits of meditation for many people, but admits that it just doesn’t help her much at all. Instead, she’s put together a list that includes the reasons these activities are beneficial and how to do them responsibly (particularly “retail therapy”). Making a music playlist is her first suggestion and she points to relatively new research in music therapy which indicates that music “has the ability to affect the speed of your brainwaves, which can help us achieve a therapeutic state.” As you might expect, her next suggestion is singing – in the car, in the shower, to the dog, alone, in a choir. “Research shows that singers have lower levels of cortisol, which suggests lower amounts of stress. It feels good to let something out and your voice, whether you know how to sing our [sic.] not, is something that you always have with you.” Coloring and calling your favorite funny friend are two of my other favorites from her list. Again, check out her article for full explanations and support for her suggestions.

In January 2017 Inc. magazine came out with “ 52 Ways You Can Be Kinder to Yourself , ” acknowledging the importance of finding healthy ways to manage stress and build resilience in our work lives as well as our personal lives. TED talks also put together a playlist of nine of their best talks on “ The importance of self-care ,” available for free on Youtube.

All of this attention to stress and to self-care as a remedy for stress emphasizes the importance of fostering resilience in our lives. Learning self-care tactics helps people manage stress, thereby reducing its traumatic effects. Instead of becoming more stressed, people can take action to become more flexible in their responses and thinking patterns. Stress can be managed, rather than just endured. This change in cognitive thinking leads to real resilience – both strength and elasticity – in our lives.

The New Yorker’s 2016 article “ How people learn to become resilient ,” by Maria Konnikova, covers the history of research into resilience, beginning with the work ofNorman Garmezy with school children four decades ago. Garmezy’s breakthrough was to flip the question from asking about areas of vulnerability in cases of trauma and negative life events, to a focus on resilience -- the “elements of an individual’s background and personality that could enable success despite the challenges they faced.” Later research revealed that not only could the key factors of resiliency be identified, they could be learned.

Konnikova notes the research of George Bonanno at Columbia University’s Teacher’s College and the Loss, Trauma, and Emotions Lab, and sums up his results with this statement: “In a sense, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Frame adversity as a challenge, and you become more flexible and able to deal with it, move on, learn from it, and grow. Focus on it, frame it as a threat, and a potentially traumatic event becomes an enduring problem; you become more inflexible, and more likely to be negatively affected.” Skills identified by the research of  Martin Segilman at the University of Pennsylvania suggest that working to shift:

   explanatory styles from internal to external (“Bad events aren’t my fault”), from global to specific

   (“This is one narrow thing rather than a massive indication that something is wrong with my life”),

    and from permanent to impermanent (“I can change the situation, rather than

   assuming it’s fixed”) made them more psychologically successful and less prone to depression.

   The same goes for locus of control: not only is a more internal locus tied to perceiving

less stress and performing better but changing your locus from external to internal

   leads to positive changes in both psychological well-being and objective work performance.                  

Many people may recognize these shifts in thinking patterns as similar to those worked on in cognitive behavioral therapies, using Dr. David Burns’ list of cognitive distortions .

The key take away from Konnikova’s review of the research for most of us is that, “The cognitive skills that underpin resilience, then, seem like they can indeed be learned over time, creating resilience where there was none.” Reducing overall stress loads and increasing self-care allows people the energy and the time to make these cognitive changes and provides more immediate relief.

For suggestions on ways to reduce acute stress reactions, particularly at work, see Melanie Greenberg’s recent article “ 7 Stress Hacks You Can Use in the Next 5 Minutes ” for suggestions, including deep breathing, sitting or standing up straight, and looking at a nature seen for several minutes. Her additional tactics are all also great for immediate relief while a person works to develop a self-care plan with more individualized options for both long-term and acute situations. is a free online resource to track wellness and self-care, and can be used for both acute and long-term self-care, as well. After helping a person develop a wellness profile, it makes use of prompts, video resources, articles, and stress management tactics. As of May 1, 2017 has also introduced a “robust” set of new stress management resources as well. If you are interested in using the free online self-help resource, please contact our office at 724-981-7141 to receive an access code. MyStrength is a nonprofit, privately owned business dedicated to making behavioral improvements.

You can learn more about Community Counseling Center of Mercer County at . We also invite you to connect with us on Facebook, or to contact us by calling (866) 853-7758 or 724-981-7141 for information or to schedule an evaluation if you’d like assistance in developing a self-care plan.


Burns, David, Dr. (1989) "The feeling good workbook" New York: William Morrow and Co.

Daskal, Lolly. (2017, January 30) 52 ways you can be kinder to yourself. .Inc Retrieved from

Greenberg, Melanie Ph.D. (2017 April 24) “7 Stress hacks you can use in the next 5 minutes.” Psychology Today . Retrieved from

Greenstein, Laura. (2016, January 22). “7 Ways to help you de-stress.” National Alliance for Mental Illnes. Retrieved from

Konnikova, Maria. (2016, February 11) “How people learn to become resilient.” The New Yorker . Retrieved from

 Markway, Barbara Ph.D. (2014 March 16) “Seven Types of Self-Care Activities for Coping with Stress” Psychology Today . Retrieved from

Meinecke, Christine, Ph.D. (2010 June 5) “Self-care in a toxic world.” Psychology Today . Retrieved from

National Alliance for Mental Illness (n.d.) “Managing stress.” Retrieved from

National Alliance for Mental Illness (PDF) (n.d.) “Self-care inventory.” Retrieved from

National Alliance for Mental Illness (n.d.) “Taking care of yourself.” Retrieved from

TEDtalks (videos) “The importance of self-care.” Retrieved from

Community Counseling Center Blog | Hermitage, PA

By 7016369785 07 Dec, 2017

Any recovery journey is one of learning – not only about facts, appropriate medications and their management, and therapeutic methods, but also about a person’s own needs and strengths. A key element in recovery is support, whether from peers or from trained observers.

According to Pennsylvania Recovery and Resiliency , “Peer Support Services (PSS) are . . . conducted by self-identified current or former consumers of behavioral health services who are trained and certified to offer support and assistance in helping others in their recovery and community-integration process. Peer support is intended to inspire hope in individuals that recovery is not only possible, but probable.”

At Community Counseling Center (CCC), Peer Support Services are open to those who have a qualifying serious mental illness diagnosis that is severe and persistent, and who are referred to the program by a qualified doctor, nurse practitioner, physician’s assistant or psychologist.

Building strong ties to the community is a fundamental part of a recovery journey, and yet obtaining clinical assistance and acquiring a clear plan of treatment – including an accurate diagnosis – can also cause a person to feel separated and different from those around them. This is true even of their own family members, who may or may not be a part of a person’s recovery journey. Each person’s experiences and life histories create both strengths that can be used in recovery, and barriers to be overcome or managed. Each person must find their time to combat the stigmas regarding mental health that exist in our society.

Yet any steps to engage in stamping out stigma and moving toward advocacy must be made in a way that supports the recovery journey, without threatening it during vulnerable moments. Peer support specialists can provide safe discussions about ways to disclose, when to disclose, and how to determine which people to offer the chance to share a recovery journey, while encouraging a peer to discuss such issues with their mental health provider. They can provide information and perspectives on good and bad experiences, and act as a sounding board for processing the feedback a person receives. One peer support specialist at CCC noted that her role involves “going out and embracing other peers with non-judgment, and helping them be in the community and function in the community.”

Trying to maintain or regain ties to the community without access to others who have or are making a recovery journey can increase isolation, worsen symptoms, or stall progress in various stages. Working through a long period without change can be as difficult as managing periods of ups and downs in progress. Being able to work with someone who can help you set wellness goals, and even meet you out in the community to accompany you as a companion, friend, and advocate as you try to accomplish those goals, can help maintain hope, resiliency, and the recognition of forward progress on the path to recovery.

According to an article in Mental Health America , “Peer specialists model recovery, teach skills and offer supports to help people experiencing mental health challenges lead meaningful lives in the community. Peer specialists promote recovery; enhance hope and social networking through role modeling and activation; and supplement existing treatment with education, empowerment, and aid in system navigation.” This is not limited to navigating the health care system. Several peer support specialists from CCC said they provide support and assistance to clients by putting them in contact with other agencies that may help with housing or household needs, by working with them as they complete forms for food stamps, energy assistance programs, and employment services. One noted that many people don’t know what may be available to them, and that “you can’t recover if your basic needs aren’t being met.”

The needs of those accessing peer support services reach into the full range of the choices for wellness. Activities for meeting wellness goals have included things as wide ranging as helping a peer bathe a dog, helping put up or take down a Christmas tree, meeting peers at libraries or at a community event to meet social wellness goals, meeting at the park to help with fitness goals, and accompanying peers to meetings with doctors or medical care givers as an emotional support, as well as having discussions prior to such meetings to help peers outline goals, questions, and needs for the meeting. Peer support specialists can also assist those learning to manage public transportation if needed.  

In her article “ Peer Specialists are Not Clinicians ,” Patricia Deegan notes that the relationship between peers and peer support specialists includes a focus on “learning together rather than assessing or prescribing help.” The whole interaction is guided by the goals of the peer. Asking good questions, actively listening to the peer, and reinforcing the ideas a client has about those goals are all part of a peer specialist’s role. Knowing when to advise a peer to ask a clinician or a doctor a specific question, or for help in determining positive, realistic goals is also part of the job.

Pennsylvania Recovery and Resiliency notes that peer support services are “designed to promote empowerment, self-determination, understanding, coping skills, and resiliency through mentoring and service coordination supports that allow individuals with severe and persistent mental illness and co-occurring disorders to achieve personal wellness and cope with the stressors and barriers encountered when recovering.” Additionally, “Peer support is designed on the principles of consumer choice and the active involvement of persons in their own recovery process. Peer support practice is guided by the belief that people . . .  need opportunities to identify and choose for themselves their desired roles with regard to living, learning, working and social interaction in the community.”

While the scope of a peer support specialist’s role can be far reaching, it is guided by goals set out by the peer and is designed to help support the peer’s growing independence. CCC’s peer support specialists complete 75 hours of training prior to certification, and are responsible for meeting continuing education goals throughout the year. One noted that setting and modeling appropriate boundaries is challenging because their goal is to encourage the patient, not to do things or to speak for them.

Specialists provide support, encouragement, shared experiences, and true compassion and empathy. One specialist at CCC noted that with a peer support specialist “you have someone who can say they really get it. But you [the peer] have to be in the place when you’re ready to work.” Another noted, “We’ve been where you are.”  

Peer support services differ from traditional mental health services in some basic ways. It is a self-referring program focused on equality among participants (both peers and peer support specialists). The program provides a non-judgmental atmosphere, and the informality of the interaction between peers and peer support specialists avoids the artificial barriers such as those between “consumers” and “professionals.” Some of the program goals include individual choice in recovery, personal wellness or being as healthy as a person can be, self-advocacy, making friends that can be counted on, dealing with the stressors of finding and keeping a job, increasing self-esteem, and contacting community resources.

If you are interested in joining the community of peers, have your mental or behavioral healthcare provider or other doctor or qualifying medical provider refer you to the Community Counseling Center’s Peer Support Services program.

If you are interested in become a peer support specialist as you continue on your recovery journey, contact Susan Pozner at Community Counseling Center of Mercer County at 724-981-7141 or toll free at 866-853-7758 and TTY: at 724-981-4327. For more information about Community Counseling Center of Mercer County visit our website or our Facebook page .




“Defining Peer Support.” (n.d.)  Pennsylvania Recovery and Resiliency. Retrieved from

 Deegan, Patricia E.,  Ph.D. (21 June, 2017) “Peer Specialists are Not Clinicians.” PDA Blog. Retrieved from

Interviews with Peer Support Specialists. (2 October, 2017) Community Counseling Center.

“Peer Specialists.” (n.d.) Mental Health America. Retrieved from



By 7016369785 06 Dec, 2017
Seasonal depression, also known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or the "winter blues," is a subtype of depression or bipolar disorder that occurs and ends around the same time every year. Seasonal depression typically occurs when the seasons change and most symptoms begin in the fall and continue into the winter months. However, seasonal depression can occur in the summer or spring, although this is less common. [ 1 , 2 ,3 , 5 ]
By 7016369785 06 Nov, 2017

The Light Beneath Their Feet


This film may not necessarily be known by many, but it is perhaps one of the most realistic movies produced in almost documentary genre while it is also quite moving in its flow.

The mental health related flicks may be viewed through four items within the line of their realistic silver screen presentations:


1) Mental health concept and illness


2) Patients with mental health


3) Behavioral Health workers and


4) Behavioral Health settings


This film is successful in achieving realistic presentation of all these four items.


The story is simple enough that it may remind the patients and therapists of their own lives related to taking care of a person who has a mentally illness.


The leading characters consist of a mother and her daughter.


The mother is a patient with bipolar disorder. Provided she takes her medication regularly and visits her psychiatrist frequently, she appears to be maintaining the non-psychotic status, even productive when employed by the settings that would not be expecting her to engage in complex tasks.


Unfortunately, like some if not many patients with bipolar disorder, she does not want to continue taking her medication regularly. She chooses to stop taking it and then becomes psychotic which leads to her hospitalization.


Her daughter is a high school senior and a very good student who had been making plans to apply for her dream university. It would be a higher educational setting far away as long as her desired outcomes would be workable. She would need to be accepted by the university and find someone to take care of her mother in her absence. They do not have other family members and friends are reluctant to get involved in her mother’s prospective care as they do not know how to handle an individual with behavioral disturbances.


Therefore the movie displays two people struggling with their own situations while dearly loving each other. The mom struggled with endless manic and depressive episodes and the daughter struggled with the decision to go for her education or not to go and stay at home and take care of her mother.


I will take liberty to state a few things regarding the ending, since these will not be spoilers as the movie ends with no outcome! The screenplay leaves the outcome to the audience's discretion as the daughter joins her mom in their room in the last scene. The End. We do not know whether she says goodbye or lets her mom know that she is staying to take care of her.

This is an excellent film for sharing with a respective community with regard to anti-stigma efforts and educating the public about mental health.


This is also an excellent movie for educating behavioral health students, interns and residents along with rehabilitative program and patient groups while stopping the film from time to time and asking what is going on.  What would the participants do if they were in the shoes of the mother and daughter? This would generate and maintain a good discussion and debate.


It is a behavioral health gem and a bittersweet mother and daughter relationship presentation. It is relevant for many real patients, their families and therapists who have similar clients.


M. F. Ulus, MD

By 7016369785 25 Oct, 2017
Facing human trafficking, mental illness and addiction, respectively, Abby Long, Jason Sterling and Heidi Mikulin all can vividly recall those dark moments in their lives when they wanted to die.

Survivors now, they shared their stories Wednesday night at the continuing Mercer COPE town halls, in the hopes that those in attendance would take something away from what they’ve learned.

For Abby Long — who was born to alcoholic parents in Russia and adopted to the United States at the age of 10, only to find herself in a family where a brother repeatedly sexually assaulted her — the takeaway should be that there are signs that someone has been the victim of human trafficking.

“My issue was I started to cut early,” she said.

“I could deal with the physical pain, but not everything I was feeling inside,” said Sterling, who also turned to cutting as he struggled with mental illness and alcoholism.

He shared his story because he understands what it looked like from the world’s perspective when he was in his deepest struggles, but few understand what was going on inside.

“It’s a living hell inside your own head,” he said of mental illness.

His father left at a young age, and Sterling said he spent a long time, especially after his father’s death, trying to understand why his father left. Through Sterling’s challenges, he faced criminal charges and two divorces, as he tried to numb the pain, find a loving wife, and understand why
so many things around him fell apart.

With a diagnosis that included bipolar and borderline disorders, he started to make some
headway as he started attending a church where he found Celebrate Recovery — a program that
tackles all forms of life’s challenges from addiction to gambling and divorce — which brought
“people into my life who accepted me as I was,” he said.

“What is the solution?” Sterling said. “Honestly, I don’t know, but I know what helped me —
Love, compassion and education.”

Long shared similar advice for those trying to help people facing struggles similar to hers.

“Don’t put it on the back burner,” she said. “Show them love; don’t judge them.”

For those with someone in their life battling addiction, Mikulin had some additional insight.

Having faced addiction herself, she recalls trying to help someone that she loved battle those
demons. She said she tried to shove what she’d learned down their throats.

“That never works,” she said. “If you love someone who’s addicted, step back.”

She remembers the things her mother said and did that helped her.

Her mother wouldn’t give her money, but “if you’re hungry, I’ll feed you,” her mother told her.

She offered for Mikulin to stay in her home, but any time her mother and father left, she had to
go with them.

“And if you don’t want to go with us, you can sit outside with locked doors,” Mikulin recalls.

Mikulin is a pastor now, but struggled for decades with addiction. Included in that battle was an
accident Oct. 15, 2007, when she was driving past an accident involving a semi on Interstate 79,
didn’t see the driver outside his cab, and struck him with her vehicle.

“I remember performing CPR on him and knowing in my heart of hearts that he was already
gone,” she said. “And wanting to die myself.”

Things began to turn around in jail, where she met a chaplain and began attending church.

Through the legal process, she was confronted with the family of the man who had died, an
experience for which she says she’s grateful.

“I got to look at them and tell them with great sincerity how sorry I was,” she said. “I told them I
would never say no to telling the story of what happened that day.”

She keeps telling the story, she says, in hopes of preventing a least one person who shouldn’t get behind the wheel from doing so.

Scotty Clary, a drug and alcohol counselor from the Mercer County Behavioral Health Commission, shared information on juvenile marijuana abuse, including longterm effects that can include dropping out of school, potential opiate abuse and financial difficulties.
By 7016369785 25 Oct, 2017
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By 7016369785 20 Oct, 2017
By Holly Patterson
By 7016369785 10 Oct, 2017

SHARON — According to the National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 15 percent of women who have recently given birth suffer from postpartum depression.

This year’s Stamp Out Stigma (SOS) at Penn State Shenango will feature a presentation on the subject at its fourth annual SOS event to be held from 12:15 to 1:15 p.m. on Wednesday, Oct. 18, in the Great Hall of Sharon Hall located on Vine Avenue in downtown Sharon.

The event is free and open to the public.

The hour-long program will also include a discussion on why health and fitness are vital to a person’s mental well-being led by Penn State Shenango Counselor Tony Paglia, as well as a special message on love and unity in the face of the horrible tragedies that have recently occurred in our country by Jack Luchette, a Penn State alumnus and the lead organizer of the annual event.

“At Penn State Shenango, we approach student health from a holistic perspective, and we seek to serve students with programming and resources that will promote their health in the areas of mind, body, and spirit,” Paglia said. “This semester, we are excited to offer our students on-campus yoga classes with instructor Debbie Harrington. We believe that by reducing stigma and encouraging our students to take better care of their physical and mental health, they will be more successful in meeting their academic and personal goals.”

The presenters at this year’s SOS event, in addition to Paglia and Luchette, include Community Counseling Center of Mercer County Community Outreach and Development Director Fern Torok, and special guest Penn State Shenango Human Development and Family Studies Lecturer and Licensed Clinical Social Worker Kara Mild, who will be speaking about postpartum depression and the stigma associated with the mood disorder.

“The Community Counseling Center has conducted 97 distinct Stamp Out Stigma presentations with over 117,000 people during the past several years,” Torok said. “We are excited to be part of the Shenango campus’ event again this year.”

For more information, call Paglia at 724-983- 2841.

By 7016369785 05 Oct, 2017

Gossip has been around since the beginning of man and women. However, a lot of people take gossip way too far in life, which can cause terrible events to unroll onto that person. Looking back, I myself was involved in several horrible rumors and lies. Now for me that did nothing to me, I shrugged them off, laughed, and cheered registering their petty lies useless. This is a mechanism that I have created over time. The same cannot be said about other individuals, the lies can emotionally harm someone especially if the rumor isn’t true. The Gossip Effect explains how and what the effect of gossiping can have on someone. For example, in high school a women or a man could be verbally abused by others daily. They might say something like “You are ugly, how could anyone date you!” this inappropriate comment will spread throughout the school like wild fire aka (Gossip). As it goes through one person it will get told slightly different every single time it is told to a new person it is altered. Eventually the comment previous-ly said could be something like this, “Oh, I heard she is pregnant” or “I heard they do drugs almost every day”. From my point of view, I take all these comments and think, “Hmm, how could someone their age be so childish. Ha-ha.” Laughing is the best medicine, my advice to all of you is laugh at those comments, don’t let them get to you. Now I understand you can take it personally or even get angry and lash out at the accused. STOP, think it over and think of the consequences and then calm down and smile and don’t care about those petty comments. Odds are you want to hurt them or make them experience the same pain as yourself. However, if you really want to hurt them, don’t let those insults get to you. Shrug them off and smile, laugh a few times and walk away from the situation. Thank them for their time and continue your beautiful day, don’t let anything get to you. If you are looking to learn how to just shrug it off then practice in your mind and head, play a scenario over and over again practicing. Let me tell you, you are beautiful and you are awesome regardless of what anyone says. Look into the mirror every morning and smile at yourself and say one good thing about your-self, could be your smile, or your personality. Love yourself, once you accept these facts, those petty gossips will mean nothing. Gossip isn’t just insulting someone, gossip is when someone tells everyone else without your knowledge of it. Keep those private conversations to your-self, it should always be confidential. You are awesome and as long as you keep seeing good traits and staying true to one self.

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